Surely , I Will Never Be Saved

there are places pregnant with faith

but I never felt heavenly there

there's always more

You joke about this fort I’ve made for myself. How I treat my days so delicately , never really letting anyone stop by for too long. It’s all a novelty, this bliss I find in being a recluse. I’m, angry because you have taken the time to pull the truth from whatever string of nonsense falls out of my mouth. You’re a scientist these days, and see right through my elaborate facades. Things are never going to be the way they once were. You hold my hand and we sit.

“ You see, this is nice.”

Friday

"to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

lord alfred tennyson

Mothers Day Gets Me Thinkin'

again I want to

be deserving of a real

purpose for all this

As finals start to suck away my happiness

In my planner I keep little notes for myself , and felt like sharing a few key quotes from my professors this semester I chose to write down.

"Kristen, take off the punching gloves."

"I'm going to pretend you're listening and you're going to pretend that I'm making sense and life will be sweet and beautiful"

"So you've got to let the nazi's march"

"Don't make mistakes on things you are perfectly capable of doing"

"Kristen, are you having any fun?"

"We are not speaking ill of the dead here"

"Now how do we keep people from beating up the Klansmen?"

"So you're just going to sit and watch me die."

"Kristen, are you laughing at my unborn child?"

"If you're 15 and trying to abort yourself, you're most likely going to do a botched job.You also have been doing a lot of other things wrong , obviously."

"If you feel guilty you're immobilized.You're excused, you sit and do nothing."

I can promise you I was serious

travelin' heavy with illusions

I waste too much time

throwing boulders off

our bed,yelling ourselves to

sleep, then there was sun

then we found still

still dressed in old clothes

we slept in that day

waiting for the sun

to slip in, your honesty

keeps me uneasy